When reading these quotes keep in mind that some of these are the "you had to be there" kind. But, for the most part one should see the humor in them. If you aspire to have a quote on this page just come by our house. There are always plenty of opportunities.

Quotes from Derek Hemsath

Derek - "I'm going to get an iPhone cause my parents are balls deep in money!"

Quotes from Joe Rose

Joe (referring to Jared) - “I’m scared he’s gonna eat me.”
Joe - "I like my arms, it's where my hands live."

Quote from Dan Paul

Dan - “This weekend my eyes were opened to the fact that I’m an idiot.”

Quote from Ben Strubbe

Ben - “Carrying around a big object and threatening to hit people with it does not make you a goon.”

Quote from Sal Hildebrand

Sal - “Jared, stop making pelvic thrusting motions.”

Quote from Ron Spicer

Ron - "It always scares me when a chick says she likes it in the ***."

Quotes from Jared Parsons

Jared(after being a member for over a month) - "Ron, where's the bathroom?"

Ron - "You have to baste the turkey before putting it in the oven"
Jared(not sensing the sexual innuendo) - "I like turkey."

Jared(interview on Television) - "I was interested in it before...but now it seems bigger!" - *Disclaimer: Interview on PAX 23 about ther Terrorism class at the UA

Quote from Ed Yan

Ed - "Why's it gotta be like that?"

Quote from Matt Johnson

Matt - "Thursday we're gonna have a candy pass." - Should have been "candle pass"

Quote from Tony Craig

Tony(while playing a wrestling game on his playstation) - "BOOM!!"

Quotes from Bill Dever

Bill(while speaking to a Mid-Year Class) - "A black hole is God's weight divided by zero!" - Where did that come from?
Bill(After being given his Indian Name "Franken Sloth") - "What's a Sloth?"

Quote from Noah Miller

Noah(while watching WWF) - "Look at that guys package!" - *Disclaimer: Noah Miller is not gay!